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Niamh

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Self-love

Untitled…

When I look in your eyes

and our bodies meld

to become one

I know I shall never

really be alone

in those fleeting moments

my mind quieted

skin tingling

as if I’d stood in cold rain

breath ragged

hair awry

the sight of you

the feel and smell of you

will soon be a distant memory

but even without you

I know

I am whole, complete

always at one with the world

at my feet.

 

©Niamh Corcoran

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Heart Whispers

Your words,

feather light

barely heard

cut deep

and changed my life

 

 

©Niamh Corcoran

 

 

The Voice

Two today, both with the same title, the first written on the 27 April 2012, the second written earlier this year. I had forgotten about the first one and only found it as I couldn’t remember where I’d saved the recent one and a search on my computer threw both of them up. I thought I’d share both as it is a good indication of how far I have journeyed in the last few years and I figure it might give those of who read my site and may be suffering from depression or anxiety hope that time does heal. Everything changes with time, hang in there. ❤

The Voice

Today, I cannot silence the voice,

nor the constant drumbeat

accompanying it,

that reverberates through

my every bone

 

The voice that tells me

I am no good,

The constant beat,

You are useless, useless, useless

an endless track.

 

The voice will not be quelled,

Silence is its power;

I cannot outrun it

for the beat

matches each and every step.

 

The voice will not be drowned

out by music,

I turn the volume up

’til my ears bleed

it cannot override the beat.

 

The voice accompanies me

night and day,

even as I sleep

the drumbeat

relentless in it desire

to destroy.

© Niamh 27/04/12

 

The Voice 

 

A whisper of moments past

a reminder of a time, a place

I thought I was stuck

a loop, a beat,  once unending

but now silenced

even in the night

 

I hear the birds sing,

the rain, and rustle of leaves,

the hum of the earth

beneath my feet,

the pulse of joy

in my heart

 

and I know I am free.

 

The voice that berated

criticised and

almost destroyed

was not mine

but memories of

words spoken

 

to me, of me

that sunk in

and became my truth

held me prisoner

its power washed away

by gentle words of love

 

that set me free.

 

© Niamh 19/01/19

I want you…

to see me

not as a body ripe for

harvesting

but as moonlight

an unwavering glow

 

no, not the moon

for she waxes and wanes

but the steadiness

of the sun

a constant

 

not reliable or

responsible

but prone to bursts

of fire

 

by times hidden

yet you know she is there.

 

To be your sunlight,

to warm you

guide you

to have you

seek me.

 

© Niamh 8/11/2011

Gone

In the bright noon sun,

I sensed the warmth of you next to me.

I needed someone to validate me

I grasped your love with both hands

And threw myself into the whirlpool.

 

As the sun sank, I realised

I expected too much of you.

I thought you could set me free.

Now I know that was too much to ask,

That love for another is not what I need

But to learn to love me.

 

In the shadows of night I can see

That it was never meant to be

You were nothing but a fantasy.

The pedestal on which you stood

Slowly crumbling as time went by.

 

I stand alone, unloved, unworthy

There was no pedestal designed for me.

As the morning dawns I wonder,

If I could feel your love again

Would it change how I feel about me?

 

 

© Niamh Corcoran 29/05/2011

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