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Niamh

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Love

Fledgling

Do you remember the night

I held your hand

brushed your tears away

chased the monster from

under your bed

 

it had yellow teeth

purple spots on green skin

the longest claws ever seen

eyes like fish bowls

 

you’d drawn it in school

and made it real,

given it a home

where it kept you awake

 

in the early hours I was your

knight in shining armour

the bravest person you knew

you held me close told me

 

you’d never let me go.

Today the bed is gone,

you’ve moved out to start

your new life, an adult

 

I’ve shed a little tear

but know that I am near

should that scary monster

ever reappear.

 

 

© Niamh Corcoran 8/9/19

 

 

I am here…

I can no longer hold you

or speak to you,

comfort you in your sorrow

but I am here.

 

I can no longer reach out a hand

to wipe away your tears,

assuage your fears,

but I am here.

 

In the warm sun on your back

in the gentle breeze

that carries your worries away

I am here.

 

In the soothing purr of a cat

the whisper of butterfly wings

the scent of a rose

I am here.

 

In the moon and the stars

that light up the night sky

I am never far from you.

I am here.

 

Though you cannot see me,

or touch me,

say my name silently or aloud

I am here.

 

 

©Niamh Hill

When love is not love…

I am watching you

and everything you do

keeping careful note

of the way you move,

the clothes you wear

the way you do your hair

which colours you favour

the foods you choose

pretending I love you

that I’m in awe of you

 

you lap up each compliment

growing more trusting

and vulnerable with

every passing day

unaware that I am building

an ammunition store

 

I’ll use your trust and secrets

to diminish you, crush you

for I fear you, your strength,

generosity and ability to love

and that which scares me

must be destroyed.

Stay with with me

Stay and hold me

so I can feel

your breath

cool on my cheek

your heartbeat

close to mine

the steadiness

of your feet

on the earth

if you let me go

or take your eyes

off me for a second

I am afraid

the wind of life

will seize me

in a frenzied whirl

and I may never

find my way home.

 

©Niamh Corcoran

 

 

Untitled…

When I look in your eyes

and our bodies meld

to become one

I know I shall never

really be alone

in those fleeting moments

my mind quieted

skin tingling

as if I’d stood in cold rain

breath ragged

hair awry

the sight of you

the feel and smell of you

will soon be a distant memory

but even without you

I know

I am whole, complete

always at one with the world

at my feet.

 

©Niamh Corcoran

Mother…

Today, I curl up

in a ball and cry,

for my children

slowly destroying me

 

with pollution, plastic

and pesticides

they cut forests

and burn grasslands

 

chase the animals,

they have not

hunted and killed,

from their homes

 

yet I continue to

feed them, provide

water and shelter

air to breathe

 

in the hope that

they will learn

to value

my magnificence

Heart Whispers

Your words,

feather light

barely heard

cut deep

and changed my life

 

 

©Niamh Corcoran

 

 

The Voice

Two today, both with the same title, the first written on the 27 April 2012, the second written earlier this year. I had forgotten about the first one and only found it as I couldn’t remember where I’d saved the recent one and a search on my computer threw both of them up. I thought I’d share both as it is a good indication of how far I have journeyed in the last few years and I figure it might give those of who read my site and may be suffering from depression or anxiety hope that time does heal. Everything changes with time, hang in there. ❤

The Voice

Today, I cannot silence the voice,

nor the constant drumbeat

accompanying it,

that reverberates through

my every bone

 

The voice that tells me

I am no good,

The constant beat,

You are useless, useless, useless

an endless track.

 

The voice will not be quelled,

Silence is its power;

I cannot outrun it

for the beat

matches each and every step.

 

The voice will not be drowned

out by music,

I turn the volume up

’til my ears bleed

it cannot override the beat.

 

The voice accompanies me

night and day,

even as I sleep

the drumbeat

relentless in it desire

to destroy.

© Niamh 27/04/12

 

The Voice 

 

A whisper of moments past

a reminder of a time, a place

I thought I was stuck

a loop, a beat,  once unending

but now silenced

even in the night

 

I hear the birds sing,

the rain, and rustle of leaves,

the hum of the earth

beneath my feet,

the pulse of joy

in my heart

 

and I know I am free.

 

The voice that berated

criticised and

almost destroyed

was not mine

but memories of

words spoken

 

to me, of me

that sunk in

and became my truth

held me prisoner

its power washed away

by gentle words of love

 

that set me free.

 

© Niamh 19/01/19

Earth song

I hear the music

not with my ears

but through

the soles of my feet

 

I feel the earth beat

as it changes with time

each season a movement

my life a symphony

 

I am the second violin

to your first,

together we move

in tune

in sync

 

We wait for the orchestra

to join in

to become one body

of song

 

we can heal

the world

if we can all play

the same notes

 

 

© Niamh Corcoran   9/11/2012

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